I've Been Robbed!

It's funny how being robbed works. You imagine someone climbing in through your window when youre not home, holding you at gunpoint in a dark alleyway. The truth is, I had no idea someone was taking money from me until I happened to check my online account. I can't imagine what would have happened if I hadn't.

There was a strange transaction for a theater I had never heard of much less been to. The amount was not an amount I remembered spending, and trust me, I remember what I spend. That's part of the paranoia of being youngand broke in the city, you become obsessed with saving money and watch every penny. Who would have thought a year ago that I would be basing my grocery buys on what coupons I had in my pocket?

So back to being robbed. So I called customer service, tried to skip through the robot voices as fast as I could and finally got put on hold. An incredibly frustrating experience when you can see a pending transaction you know you didn't do. So I sat, listening to all my other options and opportunities to put more of my money in their hands. Finally an operator came on and immediately asked for my social security number. probably not such a good move in dealing with someone who has just lost money on what she thought was a secure account.

"And can I have your address and birthdate?" and would you mind also giving me the opportunity to go shopping on your tab? is what I was thinking as I spit out the numbers, blindly rushing ahead to the creep that was using the internet as his or her playground and going to concerts and performances with my cash.

"And when is hte last time you saw your card?"
"I have my card."
"You have your card? So it wasn't stolen?"
"No. Just the number was stolen."
"I see." quick typing and "mm-hmming" "Do you have any other authorized users on your card?"
"NO." I was thinking what kind of moron does she think I am? I trust no one.
"Have you made any transactions with the card in the last twenty-four hours?"
"Yes."
"Are you positive you did not make the disputed transaction at any point in time?"

The truth is, I had considered this. Sometimes my mother and I made purchases without remembering we had made them, and then screamed "Identity Theft!" when my father confronted us with the credit card bill. But this time I wasn't taking any chances. My father rarely relented as he went down the list demanding to know why we spent money in this place, that place.

"What time was the transaction made?"
"2:19 p.m."
I put the operator on hold and called into the office,
"Does anyone know if I went anywhere yesterday afternoon?"
"No!" came the unaminous reply. That was what I thought but figured I'd better be safe than sorry.
"No." I told hte operator calmly. "I was at my job."
"Okay. Well, we'll cancel your number, and send you a new card, which you should receive in 5-7 business days." meaning not until next month. "In order to dispute the lost funds you'll have to wait until the transaction clears and then go from there. " Meaning she was washing her hands of me.

"That's it?"
"Have you tried contacting the merchant?"
I then explained to her that this particular merchant apparently didn't exist. I had checked for them online, through Information and called the phone number listed with my transaction, which was disconnected. So now I can't be sure if someone posed as this corporation or if they charged my account and then mysteriously disappeared.

The weirdest thing about this is the feeling that goes with having something so private. I feel violated. Seriously. We used to shout that back in high school about just about everything but here it applies quite readily. I feel weird, not having access to the account but knowing that for a day or two, at least, someone else did have access to the account, someone did think that they could go around and shop and go to shows and just charge it all to this mysterious person they don't ever care to meet. I'm reminded of those credit card commercials covering identity theft and suddenly understand the man with the beer gut who says, "Oh my god! $1500 for a leather jumpsuit? I wasn't going to pass that up!" in a hilariously feminine voice. I love those commercials and used to crack up at them. now I wonder if, at some point when I open my mouth, some voice that isn't mine is going to come pouring out with a confession of what they did to my bank account.

And my current sanity.