Homework

For some reason I imagined that having been out of school would have inspired me to go back full force, to throw myself on the mercy of my professors and always be on top of assignment deadlines. I imagined finally making effortless straight As because I tried harder. But already I'm floundering and I'm only a few weeks in. I find myself too tired after work to study and sneaking in homework during breaks while at work or when I appear to be doing things. It's interesting that now that I'm actually interested in school is when I'm struggling the most to get everything out of it that I want.

For most people this isn't such a huge problem. They either want to be in school or they don't, want to be working or they don't. But it appears that my brain is a little confused about what it wants in this life. Do I want to be a student, a professional, or maybe a homeless person? They seem to have very full lives for living without most of the material goods we take for granted. I imagine myself able to handle anything that comes my way. With optimism. Which is how I intially approached the GRE. Yes, I struggled with the SAT. Yes, I had a terrible time working my way through standardized tests in the past. But it seemed to fall to me to get through this in better shape. I was taking a class for it, tutoring and I was going to score high.

But the class is discouraging. I'm sure they don't mean to be, but I find that once I'm no longer in the flourescently lit box of a room, I can't remember what the heck my teacher said to me about back solving or angles or anything else. I fare better in the verbal section, as I have fared better verbally a good part of my life. So let's see how I can improve my not so great math skills.