Friday of PayDay

I love payday Fridays. They make me feel accomplished at 9 a.m. as I click and type and pay bills all in one fell swoop. You gotta love that. Though paying bills is depressing in the since that I watch my new balance sink away from me, all because of bill damage I've done the month before. Don't we all wish we lived in a world that provided free cable and utilities and threw in occasional shopping sprees?

New York is gray today. It feels like Northern California, but it's what I think of when I think of big cities. Kind of gray and rainy amongst huge concrete structure and people moving around each other. It's not what NYC is really like. There are a lot of beautiful days where I disappear into a park and sit in the sun and watch everything going on around me. But there are enough gray days to rmind us all to not take the sunny ones for granted. I woinder what I'll think of New York when I'm old. How I'll remember these days of being poor, in debt, trying to scrape together enough money for the subway but then getting free entries to various clubs and parties. I love that part of living in the city, of finding ways to do fun things without spending a lot of money.

So what would my ambitions be for the future? That paychecks continue to increase, that rent suddenly goes down or that I win the lottery and am able to buy an apartment. That I'll maintain friendships with the people who have helped shape my life up here, who do so much to support me and help me. That the days of not being able to buy new anything will be behind me and I'll stop depending on my boyfriend for food.