Labor Day Means Change

I like Labor Day a lot. I'm not really sure why, but I do. Maybe it's because there's something in the air about starting school again or something. I used to love getting ready for school. So yesterday when i was walking around, watching all the children who started school, I had to admit I was a little jealous. I miss the feeling that a new school year brings, with fresh changes. Each year was viewed as a chance to improve upon the last, whether it was improving my math grade (always difficult) or getting my braces off (sophmore year). I used to love arriving to hear the gossip from the summer. Which relationships had broken up, which new teachers were cute, and where we would pick up with our friends during lunch period. When I was at boarding school it became even more meaningful since we were unlikely to see each other during the summers. People went home, began camp, began working, or just hung out but for the most part not in Raleigh.

I wish I could recapture that feeling I got when I was in school. The feeling that you would be able to erase mistakes you had made the year before, maybe forgive a grudge that was getting the best of you. I always loved it when teachers told us that we were beginning with As, we just had to keep them. I remember the first day after school, getting home with just the right amount of homework- enough that you could finish with plenty of time to spare, and yet still feel somewhat accomplished. I used to make a list of goals each year that I wanted to accomplish. Most of the time it had to do with actually paying attention in the classroom (something I always struggle with) then applying old knowledge to new, then being more outgoing. Since I was pretty shy in high school, it was an effort to do all that I did and keep a smiling face.

Could we recapture that emphasis on success that we had going for us in school? All the way through we were encouraged, told that we would grow up to great things, that we would make our parents proud. I have to question if any of us were able to do that. I wonder where everyone in my class is now. Some of them I still keep in touch with, writing letters and emailing back and forth, being a part of. But for the most part I have no idea what happened to the 58 girls that I graduated with. I don't know who's already married with children, who's really building a career, whos' still just hanging out, maybe waiting tables while working on their graduate degree.

Maybe I'll take this as a time to have a fresh start, to become more energized about my life and what can be accomplished. New York definitely has that energy. It's just up to me to capture it.