Service at Cafe Duke's

Cafe Duke is located in the heart of Soho, at Broadway and Spring. It goes all the way through the building it's in, so you can also go in on the Mercer street side if you so desire. It's one of those really weird places that has a little bit of everything. Pasta, juice drinks, soup, sushi and a do it yourself Salad bar. Sounds nice, right? You can even access the internet in there.

But if service is everything, than Duke's is nothing. They have these women who work the front counter like machines, screaming "Next UP!" before customer A even has their stuff in a bag. They complain if you're too demanding- like, forgetting to ask for milk in your coffee WHEN YOU ORDER IT NOT AFTER. I can't imagine how many people they go through in an hour, much less a day. You've never seen a line move so fast.

Being from the South, it's habit for me to cough out "How are you today?". I could be kidnapped or robbed at gunpoint and have no doubt that's exactly what I would say. When the Yankees invaded the Confederacy during the Civil War, every one of them commented on how hospitable the Confederate Wives were, even though I'm sure we just wanted to stab them in the back. There are many stories about the Yanks being served on the best silver and treated like royalty. That's Southern teaching. Regardless of whether it's the President or Hitler (not that there's much difference this day and age) you just pretend they are the nicest, most interesting people you've ever met and be kind. Which is why Southern women are so much more dangerous. We'll conceal our distaste but feel free to gossip about it later.

When I first visited Dukes back in the fall I didn't believe my co-workers when they told me how rude those poeple were. I figured they were exaggerating and that the ladies behind the counter just hadn't been offered Southern hospitality before. Of course I was wrong. They could care less how nice you were to them as long as you GOT OUT OF THE WAY. I think the reason that place stays open is it's one ofa bout two restaurants down here in SoHo that aren't trendy and overpriced. By the way, New Yorkers are cheap when it comes to lunch. That's why we love the vendis.

Today when I went in for a diet coke and a snack (no, I haven't kicked my caffeine habit yet) the guy in front of me was an older gentleman. When he was called up I heard him say something to the girl behind the counter but wasn't paying attention. But by the time I got up there he was yelling at her to be nice. He said, "ALl you have to do is answer fine!" I don't know where he w as from, but preach it, brother. IT's the truth. All you have to say is fine. It's a lot more civil and takes less effort than not saying anything at all.